Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Sluts in The Office

Now, I like Hitler as much as the next guy, but what really pissed me off about WWII was the fact that it gave women the chance they were looking for to wiggle their way into the workforce and take all our jobs.  While all the men were off killing Nazis and saving France, all the women were back home working in factories and voting.  This is bad for a number of reasons.  Not only are women not emotionally stable enough to handle stressful situations (they often resort to tears and getting men to solve their problems for them), they also have this nasty habit of getting pregnant and leaving for years at a time while they spit out another little fleshy ball of misery.  Not only are they costing the companies they work at money hiring and training people for their old jobs, they are leeching off of my taxes with maternity leave.
A young woman preparing for the future
I also hear a lot of woman complaining about the “glass ceiling”.  Not only do I completely agree with an invisible implied max level that women are allowed to reach in the workplace, I think it should be lowered.  Like to the mail room.  Now it’s all fine and dandy for women who aren’t pregnant/married/with kids (lesbians) to play make believe and hope to be just as successful as the men in their office, but they should not be able to achieve those goals.  Just like children, they should be told they can do anything when they grow up, when in reality they lack almost all the physical and mental attributes to do so (remember when your parents told you, you could one day be an astronaut?  Good luck with that with your 20/200 vision and C in physics). 

Dangling incentives on a string to encourage desired behaviour works wonders with children (see: Santa, the Easter Bunny, birthdays, trips to Mexico, etc ), and due to their similar intelligence and maturity levels, one can expect the same results with women.  For instance you tell a woman that if she keeps getting you coffees and answering phone calls she could end up in your chair someday.  When in reality you’re just waiting until she gets married (and inevitably pregnant) and decides to “settle down”.  Then you move on to the next hot young piece of ass you can stare at as it walks out of your corner office to get you another latte.